This is why breastfeeding sucks (and why you should try it anyway)

Breastfeeding is cool. It's good for baby, it's great for mum. It's normal, natural and almost miraculous. But you know the real truth? The truth no one ever talks about? Breastfeeding also sucks.

Here are the top 9 reasons why breastfeeding can actually suck (but you should still do it, if you can)

By Christella Morris

I feel like a human dummy

I love my babies. I love dummies. I don't love being my baby's dummy. When he's cranky and won't take a dummy and won't sleep and won't eat and just wants to sit there and suck suck suck, and then I take him off and he wakes up and cries, and he won't sleep and…ugh! It's a never-ending cycle of "Mummy! Boobs!"
It's inconvenient

Quite frankly, having to feed my kid at all is inconvenient. I wish he'd hurry up and learn to feed himself. In fact, I wouldn't mind if he and his brother could make their own food and wash their own dishes, too. Feeding is usually the thing I have to do to hurry up and get back to the thing I wish I was still doing. Or the laundry
My husband can't breastfeed.

Nothing is more relaxing than getting out of the house for the day when hubby's home with the kids. Or at least, I don't think anything could be more relaxing. I wouldn't know for sure because I can't leave my kid for more than a couple of hours or all hell breaks loose! Dear husband, hurry up and lactate already! I needs to get her nails done!
"Baby Eats What You Eat!"

Thanks for the reminder, Random Stranger! I know that the baby is getting a diluted fraction of this Diet Coke I'm inhaling (and I already feel guilty about it), but since my husband can't breastfeed for me and I just spent the last nine months avoiding processed meats and cheeses (man, I missed hot dogs!) I don't think the baby will mind if I eat these french fries. Why don't you go bother the busy mum in the food court feeding her kids KFC and leave me alone?
Seedy-Mustard Explosions.

I don't know what formula-fed baby poo looks like, but I've never heard of a mother who bottle-feeds complaining about exploding baby butts! And the stains! Oh God, the stains! I'm pretty sure a sandblaster filled with bleach couldn't get them out.
Sometimes it's too easy.

For instance, at this exact moment my baby is breastfeeding. (Yep, I can nurse and type. I'm amazing.) Want to know why? I was trying to get her blog post done and he was getting fussy. Pop! "Onto the boob you go, little man. I'll figure out what's actually wrong after I hit 'Publish!' I promise!" Give me an amen, sisters! I know you've been there!
Mummy-baby time.

Those of you with older kids will know that breastfeeding means extra time spent with baby every day. That's great because you know baby is getting the attention he needs and deserves -- no wait, he's notreally. He's getting a boob jammed in his mouth for twenty minutes until the toddler runs into the room with scissors and you have to rip the baby off to chase after him. "Aw, crap! Cash, get back here with Mum's iPhone! I'm trying to feed your Brothhherrrrr!"
Equipment failure.

Whether it's growth-spurt-induced empty boobs or you're struggling in the very beginning of your breastfeeding career, it sucks when your "equipment" fails. The entire time I was nursing my first son, Cash, only my left boob worked. I was so lopsided I looked like I'd just had a mastectomy.
Leakage.

Nothing says "Nice to meet you!" like a big fat round wet spot on your new work shirt because you forgot to put in your breast pads this morning. Because I'm not busy enough, I have to worry about busting a leak at the supermarket when it's feeding time and I'm running late. Oh, I can't wait until we start weaning and I head back to work. I hope I remember to keep extra breast pads in my desk.
All of that considered, here's the thing: Even though I don't plan on posting any photos on Facebook of me breastfeeding my baby, and I don't plan on putting him in a bib that says "100% Boob Fed" anytime soon, that doesn't mean that I don't think breastfeeding is awesome. Because it is.

Every mother should try to breastfeed her baby, and every new parent should be educated on the value of breast milk.

If you see someone breastfeeding in public throw them an approving smile. If you see someone bottle feeding in public don't be judge-y. Everyone has their own set of circumstances and are generally just doing the best they can. Let's all try to remember that any mother who is breastfeeding her kid is also dealing with these situations (and more) on a regular basis. Believe me, it's not fun! So, share this post with all of your booby-feeding-bottle-feeding-crazy-tired-mama friends and give them a laugh!
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