These 12 very surprising tips will make you a better mother

You want to be the best mother you can be -- and surprisingly, sometimes that means taking a step away from your kids and actually doing something for yourself. By yourself. (We know, crazy, right?) But seriously, getting time to yourself, to refresh and recharge, is key to being a sane, happy mum. "Self-care is necessary for being the best parent as well as the best person possible," says Mia Redrick, a strategy coach for mums and author of Time for Mom-Me. "Whatever you do, however you take care of yourself, your family benefits directly."

Hide Out from the Kids

It works for Gwen Stefani, who locks the door on her closet to hide away from her kids when it all gets to be too much. If your closet's slightly smaller than Gwen’s, find another spot -- lock the door to your bedroom, hide out in the bathroom, or even just sneak away to the laundry room for a few minutes of R&R. On tough days, those few minutes away from your kids can be sanity-savers -- and put you in a better frame of mind to deal with them the rest of the day.
Yell Obscenities in the Shower

Obviously you don’t want to yell at your kids, but you've got to vent your frustration somewhere -- so let it all out in the shower. (Maybe blast the exhaust fan or some music so your kids don't pick up any four-letter words over the water noise.) Some studies have shown that yelling obscenities can help you deal with stress or pain better than if you don't do it. And a less-stressed mother is a more patient, happy mother.
Laugh a Little

Just one good belly laugh will reduce stress by 70 percent, and make you more inclined to chuckle when your 2-year-old decides to colour the walls with your new Chanel lipstick. Go go ahead: Get in a water fight with friends at the pool or beach, or even just watch one of those old SNL or Funny Or Die videos.
Start a Daily Gratitude List

Want to accentuate the positive in your life? Focus on everything that is wonderful by keeping a journal where you jot down the positive things that happen each day -- or just make a mental list as you go to sleep at night. Research shows that people who express gratitude on a regular basis have better physical health, optimism, progress toward goals and overall well-being. (And at the same time, you'll be modeling this optimistic outlook for your kids, too. Win-win!)
Eat Out -- Alone

Your meal will actually be hot when you eat it and cooked by someone else. And with no kids in tow, you won't be saying things like "sit down," "chew with your mouth closed," or "no, you can't eat a sugar packet" a thousand times. Savour this meal -- and the memory of it -- for the next time you're barking all of those things at your kids.
Read a Hot Book

Sure, that highbrow book club selection can help you chill out -- one 2009 study found that reading just six minutes can reduce stress levels by 68 percent -- but why not mix business with pleasure? Try something steamy, like Fifty Shades of Grey or even old-school erotica like Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series -- which can help rev up your sex life while cooling down your stress levels. And everyone knows that a sexually fulfilled mother is a much happier mother!
Channel Your Inner Social Butterfly

If you haven't had a spare moment to spend with your friends, now's the time to plan it. (And plan the next one, too, while you're at it.) Research shows that people with strong social connections can reduce their risk of death -- on par with quitting smoking. (You + potential long life = good for your kids!) Plus, commiserating with your fellow mum friends will help you realise you're not alone when potty training and tantrums have you feeling frazzled. So make a standing date once-a-month to hang with the ladies. This is worth booking a sitter months in advance!
Rock Out in the Car

Listening to music can cause your brain to release dopamine, which gives you a feeling of pleasure. Skip the Wiggles and put on a song you love. We suggest escaping to the car for this one (if you're not already in it dropping your kid off a school, soccer or wherever) -- so you can sing your heart out along with Adele without interruption. When you've had you fill of adult music, you'll be better able to handle the Kidz Bop versions your 5-year-old loves.
Watch Mindless TV

Or, to put it another way: Stop watching so much news. All those sad or scary stories (Child missing; Arsenic in apple juice; Ice caps melting!) can ratchet up your stress and anger levels -- especially if it's something that you have no control over. That's not good for you, and it's certainly not good for your kids, who will pick up on both of those things. So take a holiday from news shows and indulge in something fun and mindless.
Get in a Good Workout

Putting exercise in your calendar (and, um, actually doing it) is a double-whammy winner: It not only helps you stay healthy and strong for the road ahead (and all those times when your 4-year-old wants a piggyback ride), it also releases a rush of endorphins that can help you unwind and relax. Try to get this in first thing in the morning, so you get that rush as you start the day -- and so you don't get too busy to make it a priority.
Pour Yourself a Glass of Wine

Have a little wine to help you deal with the whine. (After the kids are in bed, of course, so you can actually enjoy it!) The vino can help you relax, but it also has additional health benefits -- reducing your risk of certain cancers, improving your memory, and reducing your levels of "bad" cholesterols -- especially if you choose a red wine. So consider it your health tonic.
Have a Good Cry

We all feel good after we shed a few tears -- and some research indicates that crying may help you remove stress hormones or toxins from the body, so there's good reason to watch The Notebook or those first 5 minutes of Up again. Shedding a few tears can help clear the air if you're feeling exceptionally stressed -- and leave you ready to deal with your kid's next tantrum.
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