Kate Says Stuff is all about life with four fabulous children and a Supertrucker husband. Kate writes of family life, recipes and household organisation along with regular product reviews and giveaways. She is also a founding blogger at Autism: In Our Own Words sharing the trials and tribulations of having two children on the autism spectrum.
Sometimes you just need to see past your own bias
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Sometimes when you have a child with a hidden disability you can find yourself being a little oversensitive. Seeing judgement where it doesn’t exist. Maybe part of dealing with the ignorance of the few blinds you to the goodwill of many.
I took my small two to the supermarket recently. My 4yo with autism had severe hayfever and was out of sorts, my nearly 2 year old is nearly 2… you know how that goes.
I went to the ‘wrong’ supermarket and realised my folly within minutes. With half a trolley full of groceries my son refused to go any further and began screaming, kicking, biting, headbanging… all the fun stuff that goes with a full blown meltdown. My daughter decided that it looked like fun and joined in the chorus.
I had two choices. Battle on and get the shopping finished whilst restraining the kids as best I could, or leave. As I was very near tears myself I took the second option, guiltily dumping the trolley where it stood and bolting for the exit.
As I passed the checkouts I saw that the operator was staring at me, and I was ready to let rip when she told me off for leaving the trolley in the middle of the aisle. She was probably in her late teens and I’d already decided that look on her face was derision at my parenting skills, or lack thereof.
I put on my stern face and marched past with a screaming child under each arm.
As I passed her she called out to me: “Hey, I hope he feels better soon.”
That was it. No judgement. No anger. The expression I’d seen was nothing more than concern. Her words had me in floods of tears when I got to the car. I was feeling like the world’s worst mother… she made me feel like I was just doing what I could to help my son.
There are good people in the world, sometimes you just need to see past your own bias.
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