15 reasons why your friends are good for you
They’re Great Problem-Solvers
A friend might have a perspective on a situation you previously didn’t consider.
“Friends can help you approach problems with a new perspective,” says Irene Levine, psychologist, creator of TheFriendshipBlog.com and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. “She may have a different background than you or have had different experiences. If she is older or younger, she may see things differently than you do.”
She probably also has different strengths than you. It’s true: You can’t be good at everything! And nobody expects you to be. With a little teamwork, there’s no obstacle you can’t overcome.
Your Significant Other Can’t be Your Everything
Do you disappear from your own social circle when you’re dating somebody? Or, are you perpetually glued at the hip to your husband? Well, snap out of it! You need to make time to maintain relationships with your girlfriends because…well, who else are you going to talk to about your partner? And, not to jinx you, but you might just need those friends should there be a breakup!
“No one person can be everything to another -- in fact, it can be smothering,” says Levine. “There are things you can talk about to your girlfriends that men would have a hard time relating to or understanding. Your boyfriend may not be willing to listen to you bemoan the way you look in your bathing suit or may not understand how hurt you felt when another friend snubbed you.”
You Need a Cheerleader
Friends aren’t just great to have when the chips are down. There’s something wonderful about knowing exactly who you’d want to call to say “I got the promotion!” “I’m having a baby!” or even, “He finally called!”
“True friends are eager to see each other succeed and grow,” says Levine. “It’s nice to have a friend who is rooting for you and helps motivate you to succeed. She may have been your greatest cheerleader and your success may feel like hers, in part. Also, her success may give you added confidence that you can do it, too.”
Getting Together is Scheduled “Me” Time
“It’s important to schedule time with girlfriends just as you make regular appointments at the dentist or hair salon,” says Levine. “Life can get busy and women get pulled in a million directions but spending time with friends makes you a better spouse, partner, or worker. If you are crunched for time, find ways to accomplish tasks with your friend like working out together.”
Without a date planned with a good friend you otherwise might not go to that restaurant or make time to get a mani/pedi.
You Can Live Vicariously
If she’s the domesticated one, you get to play with her kids…and then leave them there! If she’s the swinging single, you get to hear stories about her escapades.
“It’s wonderful to be able to share your life with a friend and vice versa,” says Levine. “She may give you a glimpse of things you haven’t yet experienced or serve as a role model that inspires you to follow in her footsteps.”
Facing Hard Times is Easier with Them Behind You
Your friends are the ones who’ll be there in the end -- your parents will die, your children go out on their own, even your spouses can leave you but a true friend is forever.
“Going through tough times without friends can be very isolating and make the difficult times feel even worse,” says Jessica LeRoy, psychotherapist and founder of Center for the Psychology of Women. “Your friends are there to support you and to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is sometimes hard to see by ourselves.”
They’ll Challenge You
Friends can keep you from getting stuck in your single-minded beliefs. Discussing current events, politics and even pop culture with them can keep your brain sharp.
“Many times we’ll pick partners who have similar beliefs as us and so our beliefs can become narrowed without the input from others,” says LeRoy. “Having friends who will expose you to new ideas, or challenge your current ideas helps to make you a more well-rounded, informed and interesting person.”
Peer Pressure Can Sometimes Be a Good Thing
Friends will cajole you into new adventures -- whether it’s jumping out of a plane or tasting an interesting cuisine you’re a little skeptical of, they’ll gently remind you that you’re a wuss if you’re not taking risks and living life to the fullest!
“Sometimes friends will expose you and encourage you to try new things that you wouldn’t have thought to try or experience on your own,” says LeRoy. “Having that partner in crime helps you to expand your horizons in good ways.”
They’ll Improve Your Sex Life
“Remember comparing notes with your friends on what kissing was, how do you do it, how do you know you’re good at it? Back then it was all new, so we needed to compare notes,” says LeRoy. “But as we get older our bodies change, our experience with sex changes, and we have different concerns about our sex lives then we did when we were younger. Still, one of our best sources for information is our friends.”
You’ll Live Longer
Your friends will bust your chops to see the dermatologist about that mole and they’ll even talk you into getting a mammogram.
“Your friends love you and want you to be the best ‘you’ there is,” says LeRoy. “So they will nag you and encourage you to do the things you know you need to do but hate doing. Pap smear anyone?”
They’re Great for Your Career
Women tend to brainstorm together and help each other move up the rungs. They are also your best publicists -- really good friends will even throw your name out at networking events.
“A friend will keep you in mind when she hears of a great opportunity that fits your needs,” says Barbara Neitlich, a Beverly Hills psychotherapist. “Many times friends can act as fantastic mentors in business, helping you to make sound, mindful decisions. Friends can help to motivate you to ignore the so-called glass ceiling and pursue your dreams.”
They Keep You in Shape
Having plans to work out with a buddy makes you show up to the gym. Leaving it up to you? Not so much.
“Making time to exercise with friends is a win-win scenario,” says Neitlich. “Those who work out with friends often demonstrate an increase in weight loss, higher motivation and an overall more enjoyable exercise experience.”
They’ll Keep You from Self-Destructive Behaviour
“Making time for friends allows you to become vulnerable and really allows your true self to be known,” says Neitlich. “By doing this, friends can suspect or know if you are engaging in self-destructive behaviour and can often be a great sounding board for help and guidance.”
Chances are, they know you well enough to catch you before you hit your downward spiral. They will never let you turn to booze or drugs, or let you fester at home or be self-destructive.
You Learn to Appreciate What You Have
Not that you want to see your friends fail, of course, but seeing them navigate life’s challenges can make you grateful of the ones you’ve already overcome.
“Making time to spend with friends allows you to experience and really be present for the good times as well as the bad,” says Neitlich. “When you are a witness to a friend’s pain you are able to increase your own ability for empathy, as well as feel sincere gratitude and appreciation for what you have.”
Laughter is Good for You
It has legitimate health benefits and you’re most likely to do it with friends!
“Laughter literally gives your brain an internal workout,” says Neitlich. “When you make time for friends and laughter you allow yourself to decrease stress, increase energy, increase immunity, as well as foster new relationships and connections.
Next Up: Reality check: Are you annoying on Facebook and Twitter?
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