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You’ve been hanging around for almost a week now, taunting me with your cruel ways, and I for one have had enough of it.
You show up just before bed, giving me false hope that labour will start at some point during the night, as contractions get closer together.
You then disappear and I fall asleep, only to be jolted awake an hour later with proper pain. Then you fade away and I lay there for three hours lost in a heartburn world wondering if you’ll ever come back.
You don’t.
I sleep for another hour and curse you wholeheartedly.
Can you make up your mind? Either send me into labour or let me sleep – I am fine either way! But as you compound over several nights, I am rendered a useless lump of ever-increasing zombiefied flesh and I get the irrits something shocking.
It’s no use filling my days with things to do, places to be and people to see. You’re not fooled. You sap my energy, my mood and my ability to cope with everyday things. You’re mean.
While it’s true anything can happen at any moment, it’s more likely that nothing will. And I will meet you again just before bedtime (which is becoming earlier and earlier thanks to my midnight sessions) and we’ll start the cycle all over again.
I’m tired. You’re annoying.
I’m told “it’s all working toward something”, and so it is. No contraction is wasted. You may leave me with a simple, straightforward birth because so much work is done prior. Or you’ll leave me with a protracted, uncomfortable and eventually assisted labour like you did last time. I’m taking no bets.
I’ve bounced on a fitball far more than any woman ever should. I’ve walked everywhere there is to walk, dragging my stomach somewhere down near my knees. . I’ve been massaged, poked, prodded and I’ve actively tried to ignore you and let nature take its course. I’m steering clear of the various induction techniques as I tried them all last time and nothing worked.
Well, that’s not entirely true, I stopped short of taking castor oil. I doubt I’d ever have the guts to do that.
I’d really like you to do me a solid and make up your mind… because I’m losing mine.
