Kate Says Stuff is all about life with four fabulous children and a Supertrucker husband. Kate writes of family life, recipes and household organisation along with regular product reviews and giveaways. She is also a founding blogger at Autism: In Our Own Words sharing the trials and tribulations of having two children on the autism spectrum.
This is how I parent my children. Get over it
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Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, they are there. At school pick up. In the supermarket. Maybe even in your playgroup.
Attachment Parents.
Breastfeeding. Co-sleeping. Babywearing.
Sometimes even IN PUBLIC.
Every now and again the Australian media trot out this old chestnut in an attempt to SHOCK and HORRIFY the ‘normal’ Australian public. To be honest I’m more shocked and horrified that anyone actually thinks the parenting choices of others are any of their business.
Since my son was born nine years ago, I’ve worn many labels. Attachment Parent. Permissive Parent. Instinctive/Natural Parent. Hippy La La Parent. Lazy Parent. Undisciplined Parent.
Here is the label I assign to myself these days: Parent.
Certainly we choose to co-sleep. I breastfeed for what many consider a very long time. Our youngest child was born at home and at one stage I had the most awesome collection of beautiful slings in which to wear my babes.
In addition to that, my older children attend a public primary school. My younger two go to child care. Sometimes we eat McDonalds. My Mummy uniform consists of jeans and hoodies. I love my pram. In fact, we probably look and behave just like you in lots of ways.
And that is because we are.
Our parenting decisions aren’t made to shock or upset others. They are made because we believe they are the right ones for our kids. I may not agree with some ‘mainstream’ ideas in terms of child raising, but who am I to say what is right and wrong for anyone else?
I wonder sometimes how much of the discomfort people feel with some attachment practices is due to our cultural hang ups about bodies. A breast being used to nourish a walking talking child, a baby in a family bed… We’re constantly bombarded with images telling us that breasts must be aesthetically pleasing rather than functional. That the marital bed is for adults because SEX might happen there (we’ll not get into the argument about whether co-sleeping parents ever have sex. I have four children, and more than one room in my house. Have a little imagination.)
Regardless of the reasons though, judging other people for their parenting choices just isn’t cool. The same as judging based on skin colour, gender or ability isn’t cool. If a child is being fed, cared for, dressed, sheltered and loved, surely the rest is unimportant. When that child is ten, who will know if he was breastfed? If she was sleep trained? And so long as they are loved, does it really matter?
How do you handle people who comment on your parenting? Do you ever feel the pressure of other mothers? Of the media? How do you combat it?
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