How to find the perfect babysitter
Short and sweet
When your children are very young, you can easily lose the habit of going out with your partner or friends. Hiring a babysitter can seem daunting: what if your child doesn’t settle? How can you be sure your sitter will cope? Often, we feel more comfortable about asking a close family member at first.
If you feel wobbly about leaving your child even with a grandparent for a whole evening, try popping out for just an hour or two. It’s enough for a glass of wine with your partner, or coffee with a friend - and it’ll reassure you that your child can have a perfectly lovely time with another trusted adult.
See also:
Join the circle
Befriending other local mums can help to create a babysitting circle. Find out who’s interested and circulate a list of phone numbers, email addresses and preferred babysitting times. For instance, while you might be happy to look after a friend’s toddler during the evening, daytimes may be too hectic for you.
Some babysitting circles operate on a ‘token’ or points system, while others are less formalised. The only possible downside is having to offer your services in return - but sometimes it’s nice to spend the evening curled up on someone else’s sofa!
See also:
Getting to know you…
If local mums are your main source of babysitters, try to socialise your child with them as much as you can. That way, he’ll regard you going out as an opportunity for a playdate, and there’ll be no heart-wrenching cries as you leave.
When a fellow mum babysits, go out for short periods at first, building up gradually so your child and sitter have the chance to get know each other. If everyone’s happy, you’re far more likely to enjoy your blast of freedom.
See also:
Trustworthy teen
If family members or friends can’t help you out, don’t overlook a keen teenage babysitter. You’ll have to pay, of course, which adds to the cost of your night - but on the plus side you know you can ask anytime (in a recent survey, 41 per cent of parents said they feel guilty about asking friends and relatives to babysit).
The NSPCC recommends that babysitters should be 16 or over, and it pays to talk over any ground rules first. If you’d prefer your teen sitter not to have a boyfriend or friends over, then say so. Leaving drinks and snacks out for her is a nice touch… she might be the key to you resuming your social life, after all!
See also:
Time’s on your side…
The first time you use a new babysitter, ask her to arrive early so you can show her around and talk through your child’s bedtime routine.
Picking out his favorite books and story CDs will make the evening run more smoothly for your sitter. Then slip off and finish getting ready while your child and his babysitter get to know each other, perhaps looking through a book together. If you hear them chatting away downstairs, you’ll feel more relaxed about going out.
See also:
Tears before bedtime
Okay, things don’t always run smoothly. When your child bursts into tears as you leave, it’s almost enough to make you kick off your heels and cancel your night out.
However, most children do become used to being looked after by trusted teens or adults. As you leave, try to make your goodbye fairly quick rather than dithering in the doorway. When you return, find out if your child settled - chances are, the tears only lasted for a few moments after you’d left.
See also:
Don’t phone home
Try to resist phoning home every half hour while you’re out. A babysitters needs to know you trust them, and no one wants to feel they’re being checked up on. If you’d feel better knowing that your child has settled happily, then why not ask your sitter to text you when he’s tucked up in bed?
That way, you can relax and have fun - which is the whole point of your night out, after all.
See also:
Pay and go
Agency babysitters are more expensive than your average keen teenager (you usually pay a quarterly registration fee plus an hourly rate). However, they are carefully vetted - many are qualified nannies or childminders - so you won’t have to demonstrate how to change a nappy.
Many agencies have a huge database and will always check to see if your preferred sitter is available first. Plus, while teenagers tend to have busy social lives of their own, agency sitters are great when you need someone at short notice.
See also:
Home and away
Even if you don’t have a night out planned, try to arrange for your child to spend the odd couple of hours with a friend or family member - at their house, not yours.
As well as giving you a breather, it helps your child to feel comfortable in different surroundings without all her favourite possessions to hand. For instance, an afternoon spent baking with Granny gives you plenty of time for a cut and colour at the hairdressers…
See also:
Dig out your party shoes…
Whichever option you choose, finding the right babysitter might seem like more hassle than it’s worth. No wonder most parents had managed to go out together just 15 times in the first five years of their child’s life, according to a recent survey.
Yet it is worth the effort, as we all need to step away from the Duplo now and again. Your child will benefit too. After all, a fun evening out in adult company boosts your mood like nothing else… and what child doesn’t want a happy mum?
See also:
Next Up: What's your fertility IQ?
Are you clued-up or clueless when it comes to conception? Take our test to find out if you know your baby-making fact from fiction by testing
- Getty images,
