This could be seriously good for your soul

By Angie Hoist

“You will be the only person you'll be with your whole life. So love yourself”.

These were the words from a prayer I read aloud many years ago. What a profound statement, and what timing. I was struggling to come to terms with the break-up of a de facto relationship and was at that very moment consumed with having to find somewhere new to live. Surely there is no greater joy in life than having someone tell you they no longer love you, continuing to live with them until you can both find somewhere else to live in the tight Sydney rental market, and sharing the experience of one of life’s greatest stressors, moving. It was an awesome time in my life...anyone else been there?

Things did get better in my life, they always do. But this line has stayed with me and really forms one of my life mantras: people will come and go in your life, even those dearest to you, so you need to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Because it’s true - you will be the only constant in your life from the beginning to the end.

So many people are resistant to being left alone in their own company, or lack confidence in setting out on some venture on their own but we can’t always rely on someone else to give us that support or confidence. I must admit, I get disappointed when I see friends desperate to find someone immediately after a break up to avoid being alone; or friends staying in unhealthy relationships because the alternative of being single is just too distressing.

Being single for a patch after a relationship can be a wonderful time, a time of great freedom and self development. And if you can afford to live on your own during a period in your life, it not only forces you to enjoy your own company, but it also forces you to take responsibility for your life administration.

Here are some things that may freak some people out but I think are seriously good for the soul.

Eating in a restaurant alone - the invention of the mobile phone has alleviated this discomfort a bit as people maniacally check their Twitter feed to suggest they are busy and don’t care that they are alone. But bless the person who sits, eating and looking out to the rest of the restaurant. They are happy in their own company.
Going to the movies alone - hey, you can see whatever you want, eat as many lollies as you can stuff into your face and cry uncontrollably in privacy!
Driving long distances alone – or conversely, if you are like my mum, navigating the city and finding a park on your own. This can really stress people out – but you are an adult now, and the more you do it, the more relaxed you will become doing that trip.
Going to a party on your own where you’ll only know the host – this one’s tough, but it can be a real confidence booster if successful, and just imagine all the new people you’ll meet. New friends don’t come and knock at your door.
Joining a new club or sporting team where you don’t know anyone – see above
Travelling on your own -one of life’s greatest challenges. I went backpacking through the UK on my own in my early twenties and it was the making of me. It showed me that I was capable of taking care of myself. I grew up on that trip.
Moving to a new city or country on your own – very tough, but again a real confidence booster. If you can succeed at this, you can succeed at anything.

Given rising divorce rates, the delay of marriage until a later age, and the continuous tragedy of loved ones struck by illness before their time, the odds are that we’re all going to spend some prolonged time on our own. So we better believe that we can do anything with the power of one.

And why wouldn’t you want to spend time with you – you’re great.

Angie Holst is currently on 12 months maternity leave and had told all her colleagues that she was looking forward to being a lady of leisure for a year – she is still waiting for that leisure time to kick in. You can find her Twitter here and her blog here.

How do you spend time on your own?