21 things you didn't know about penises

Everything you always wanted to know about men's members but were afraid to ask

Yes, you can break that boner

It may sound like a scene from Saw, but trust us, penile rupture is very real. It tends to happen mostly during vigorous sex, but overly enthusiastic solo action can also be to blame. Most guys who’ve experienced the unthinkable, report hearing a popping noise, followed by excruciating pain. And as profoundly humiliating as it may be, a trip to Accident and Emergency is in order, since an untreated fracture can lead to permanent erectile dysfunction (ED).
If your man’s having trouble getting it up, check his ticker

And we don’t mean his watch. A bad day at work will certainly kill the mood for most guys, but if he just can’t seem to get back in the saddle, a check-up is in order. 'ED can be one of the first signs of heart disease,' says Dr. Joshua Fiske, a urologist at Overlook Hospital in Summit New Jersey, USA 'and other chronic diseases like diabetes and hypertension (high blood pressure) have also been linked to ED.'
Shrinkage is not a myth

Cold weather and cold water are a penis’ mortal enemies. 'Testicles need to be warm to effectively make sperm and testosterone,' explains Dr. Fiske. So after a dip in the pool your guy’s tools will literally huddle up against him to stay toasty - kind of like you do.
Smoking isn’t just bad for your lungs

Turns out that human chimney you’re dating may actually be less of a stud than his healthier compatriots. It’s no secret that smoking clogs the arteries, including those that fill the penis with blood at that critical moment. This means smokers may have a harder time rising to the occasion. Bet he quits now!
It has a mind of its own

We’ve suspected this since high school and now we have the medical chops to back it up. 'The penis is controlled by the nervous system,' says Dr. Fiske, 'which means erections can occur at random.' Take, for example, that morning wood he’s always so eager to share. It’s most likely the result of impulses firing from the brain during REM sleep. And all this time you thought he was dreaming about the FHM swimsuit issue!
Most penises are created equal

So forget what you saw in Boogie Nights. 'Adult penises typically measure between three and four inches when flaccid and five to six inches when erect,' says Dr. Fiske. What’s more, when it’s time to get busy, a man who started out on the small side, can end up expanding proportionally more than larger men. Just tread carefully when sharing this bit of anatomical trivia - none of the guys we talked to found it reassuring.
Our men stack up pretty well compared to other mammals

Here’s some good news to share with your sweetie: his erect organ is actually pretty large compared to other animals. Chimpanzees, for instance, have equipment that’s about half the size of the human male’s. Of course, our guys do pale in comparison to the blue whale, whose penis is 11 feet long (but who needs that).
Curves are common

The vast majority of penises lean ever so slightly to the left or right when rigid. However some bend so dramatically (or curve up or down) that having sex is almost impossible. This is known as Peyronie's Disease and happens when the penis doesn’t expand evenly during a hard-on.
Don’t blame dear old dad

Unlike those baby blues, penis size, thickness and shape are not genetic. Penises are actually formed in utero when those male hormones kick-in. So if your partner's unhappy with what he’s got, he has no one to point the finger (or any other appendage) at but Mother Nature.
Men are programmed to finish quickly

So don’t take it personally. 'The true purpose of intercourse is procreation,' explains Dr. Fiske, 'and men have evolved to have sex just long enough to get the job done.' In fact 85 per cent of guys can seal the deal in three minutes or less, however it’s the wise man who hangs in there long enough for his partner to catch up - especially if he wants her to make breakfast in the morning.
A man doesn’t need his brain to get off

OK, no big surprise here, but we did learn that his orgasm actually starts with his spine. 'The signal to ejaculate is the result of muscle contractions in the spinal cord and pelvis,' says Dr. Fiske. Sort of gives new meaning to the insult, ‘you’ve got no backbone.’
Staying power isn’t always a good thing

Although men pride themselves on their ability to go at it like the Energiser Bunny, an erection that simply won’t go away isn’t a miracle, but a medical emergency. 'If the blood flow that causes an erection doesn’t eventually leave the penis,' explains Dr. Fiske, 'serious complications can result, like blood clots.'
Having a vasectomy isn’t a fast track to freedom

Sperm are tenacious little suckers and can hang around, ready, willing and able to cause trouble, for up to two months post-op. So it’s important to use some kind of protection until your partner’s doctor gives him the all clear. And just in case he’s whining about having this simple little procedure (which, by the way, is far less invasive than a tubal ligation), Dr. Fiske promised us that getting snipped has no effect on a man’s sexual prowess.
Extra-large condoms are only for a select few

Only 6 percent of the male population needs extra-large condoms, according to condom manufacturers. In other words, 94 percent of men lie.
Blue-balls really do exist

Men really do get 'blue-balls.' Technically called 'prostatic congestion,' the achiness in the testicles is caused by 'trapped' blood. You know that rubbish he spouts about orgasms being the only way to relieve it? He's right. But not so fast, a warm shower or aspirin will also do the trick.
Penises contrast in colour to other body parts

Penises are generally darker in colour than the bodies they hang from. Why? It's part of the sexual maturation process, but it's also because during puberty nature introduces men to a special friend: the right hand. Your skin would darken too if you were manhandled that often.
Kiss that shoe size theory goodbye

There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size or nose size. And the bad news is even worse for gold-diggers: There's no correlation between penis size and wallet size.
Masturbation is the best exercise?

Masturbation is healthy. No, really. 'Use it or lose it' isn't just an excuse for a blokes's hands to migrate south; it's the official tested and studied conclusion of sex experts. The less a guy uses his sexual plumbing, the more problems he'll have pumping the well later on.
Drinking affects his nether region

Men will go limp if they drink too much. But how much is too much? About three and a half drinks for a 65 kilo man. After that, the only thing standing upright in your house will be the vacuum cleaner.
Penises have a 'seam'

All men have a line going down their penis and over their testicles. And no, it's not the chow line. It's more a 'seam' on the underside of the penis. It forms when the fetus is in the uterus. In women, the seam becomes the inner lips of the vagina. In men, the seam encloses the urethra along the length of the penis.
Growth spurts down there only last for so long

Nothing can make a penis bigger - except aging. The size of the prize stops growing by the time men hit their early 20s.
Next Up: SEALED SECTION: 23 embarrassing sex questions answered
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