12 things you can stop worrying about

'I don't spend enough time with my child'

A third of us worry that we spend less time with our own kids than our parents did with us. Yet, we live in different times, and few families can afford (or would want) one parent to stay home full-time.

The average Australian works more than 40 hours a week, and naturally this bites into family time - yet evidence suggests that quality is more important than quantity.

So rest assured that, as long as you have consistent, quality childcare, and make your child your focus when you are together, you're doing a fine job.

'My child's a little liar!'

We're conditioned to regard lying as bad - but consider your child's motives. He may be pushing boundaries, seeing what he can get away with - or embellishing the truth for the fun of it.

Child psychologist Dr Dorothy Einon believes that telling small lies can even help to boost a child's imagination: 'We all love storytelling, and often exaggerate to add a little extra gloss and excitement to life.'

If your child's lies are more devious, then tell him you know he's not being truthful - but don't worry unnecessarily. Lying is something that most children can't resist trying out.

'Why won't she join in?'

Shyness is extremely common in childhood. When you consider than many adults - perhaps even you - get the jitters when faced with a roomful of strangers, why shouldn't kids feel overwhelmed too?

Rather than worrying, or pressurising your child to join in, try to adopt a relaxed approach, praising her when she manages a new situation well.

Encouraging her to try new activities, and broaden her friendship group, can also help to boost social confidence. 

'He won't concentrate on his homework'

Homework during the primary years is intended to reinforce what he's learnt at school, and shouldn't overwhelm him. While some children are happy to sit down and tackle it, others rake up any excuse to 'do it later.'

Arrange a chat with his teacher if you suspect he finds it too difficult, or with your teen's year head if he's struggling and/or seems particularly unmotivated.

Otherwise, try to keep your fears in proportion. A chat with your child should help you discover whether he finds the work difficult, or needs encouragement to set up a regular 'homework slot' (eg, when he comes home from school, or straight after dinner) to make sure it gets done.

'My children seem to hate each other'  

Sparring siblings rates as another top worry trigger - and knowing it's happening in almost every other family home probably doesn't help.

As long as no one's being bullied or physically hurt, try to limit your involvement as much as you can - you'll find it a lot less stressful. Same-sex siblings, who are close in age, tend to have the most flare-ups.

Rest assured that hostility tends to subside as they learn to be more tolerant, and aren't so hell-bent on competing for attention and possessions.

'He won't stick at any activities'

While it's great for kids to join classes and clubs, we're often too eager to fill every spare moment.

'Matthew tried karate, football, drama and cubs - and didn't stick at anything,' says iVillager Miranda, 36, of her nine year-old. 'I used to worry that I was failing as a parent by being unable to find the one thing he'd enjoy. Now, though, I've realised he's just not a clubby sort of boy. He's leaning guitar and loves it - that seems to be enough at the moment.'

'She's not interested in girly things'

We may be loathe to admit it, but many of us have preconceived ideas of how little girls should be. And when your daughter loves digging in mud, or prefers a toy garage to a dolls' house, it may be disconcerting.

Of course, we should encourage our children to do what they love, and be themselves - it's how they discover who they are. Likewise, if your little boy loves serving tea to his toys, let him do what he enjoys.

Every child is unique, and life's too short to worry about boys and girls not fitting neatly into gender stereotypes.

'My child's so clingy'

While separation anxiety usually starts to subside when you child is around four or five, some children are clingy for longer.

Rather than worrying, or becoming frustrated with your child, encourage him to take small steps towards independence - like making a new friend and playing happily without constantly running back to you.

Remember to reinforce his achievements, perhaps by saying, 'You looked like you were really having fun today.' If you're still  worried, remind yourself that he's unlikely to be a clingy teenager (in fact, by that stage you'll probably miss the hugs!).

'She's always falling out with her friends'

Childhood friendships are notoriously fickle. 'Emily, who's 12, is often in the midst of some friendship drama,' says her mum Megan, 44. Her tactic is to 'be there to talk, and listen to all the ins and outs - who's been badmouthing who on Facebook and the like.

'But I've also encouraged her to brush up her friend-making skills by enrolling her on outdoor activity days in the school holidays, where she hasn't known anyone. Emily's coped brilliantly, made new friends and become far more self-reliant.'

As this experience shows, taking positive, practical steps is far more empowering than worrying. 

'Other kids seem to be doing so much better at school'

We often worry unnecessarily when other parents brag about their children's glittering achievements. Yet competitive parenting can result in heaping pressure onto your child.

As with the homework issue, do chat to your child's class teacher or year head if you have serious concerns. Otherwise, be on hand to help if your child needs it (if a certain subject isn't your strong point, enlist the help of a friend or family member).

To keep concerns in proportion,  focus on her achievements and the subjects she's good at - it's far more encouraging, and therefore confidence boosting, for your child.  

'He's such a daredevil... I'm terrified he'll hurt himself'

Yes, it's nerve wracking when your child's physically adventurous - but he's learning valuable lessons in how far he can push himself and what he's capable of (whilst having huge fun, of course!).

Try to allow him some space to play freely, and resist the urge to hover constantly in 'helicopter parent' style. A study by North Carolina State University reveals that, when parents lurk close by, children play less spontaneously, and are less fit as a result.

And childhood is, after all, the time to enjoy running, jumping and climbing - plenty of time to be sensible when he's all grown up...