These are the things that you can learn from annoyingly happy people
Focus on Now
While you’ve got a million lists running through your head (call the office, do the washing, make dinner), happy women are living in the moment - whether they’re working, exercising or hanging out with friends.“We often equate thinking with doing,” says David Reiss, a leading US psychiatrist. “You may feel guilty if you aren’t thinking about an outstanding issue while doing something else. But the reality is, you should be enjoying the moment.”
No matter how stressful life can be, learn to really be present at whatever you’re doing. If you spend your time worrying about what’s next, you’ll never have any fun!
Say “No”
When most of us say no to a favour or invitation, we end up feeling awful. But happy people know that saying “no” to someone else is really saying “yes” to their own life.
“If there are two words that are keys to contentment, they are ‘limits’ and ‘boundaries,’” says Reiss. “Prioritising the must-do items on our lists is essential, after which the should-do list must be narrowed down with polite but firm no-can-do responses.”
Try saying no to a non-essential or boring invitation and see how freeing it feels!
Smile at Mean People
While it’s easy to let a nasty word from a stranger (or relative!) ruin your day, annoyingly happy women know that the bad attitude is not about them, but more about the other person’s feelings of inadequacy.
“If you open your boundaries to let your self-esteem become vulnerable to how anyone feels about you, there is always an inexhaustible supply of people who can create constant guilt and misery in your life,” says Reiss.
Instead, find your self-worth from within and those meanies will never get you down!
Laugh at Your Spills
You’ll never catch an annoyingly happy woman sweating the small stuff. If they drive to the wrong airport or lose the concert tickets they can still find a way to have fun because they know (and truly believe!) that getting upset doesn’t prove anything.
“When one person in a family or in a group can manage to laugh when things go wrong, or see the silly side of situations, it helps everyone lighten up. And then the atmosphere becomes more cheerful and fun,” says Gretchen Rubin, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, The Happiness Project, and The Happiness Project blog.
The next time a mishap occurs try laughing it off – you may find that the feeling is contagious!
Keep Your Home Photo Shoot-Ready
It’s not that happy women have nicer digs than us, it’s that they pare down the extraneous stuff in their lives -- household items, clothes, and the people who are a drag on them.
“For me, and for most people, outer order contributes to inner calm -- more than it should,” says Rubin. “Clutter seems trivial, but it has a surprisingly large influence on our happiness.”
Spend 10 minutes before you go to bed picking up the day’s clutter. You’ll be surprised how much more cheerful a (semi) neat house will make you feel when you wake up.
Be Happy about EVERYTHING
Why wait for those big life moments (weddings, graduations, trips to Europe) to feel happy when you can find pleasure in life’s little day-to-day events (like a relaxing bubble bath at the end of the day or watching a DVD with a friend).
“Contentment is cumulative enjoyment, not an explosion of ecstasy,” says Reiss. “Appreciate the happiness and humour of the moment even when it may seem small or insignificant.”
Celebrate the next time you run into a good friend or get a really good price on a pair of shoes. Hey! Why not?
Trick Your Mood
Even happy women may not always feel 100 percent content (who does?) but, for the most part, they make up their minds to be in a good mood. When it’s easier to feel grumpy, they put on a smile and always try to see the positive side of a situation.
“Allowing yourself to unnecessarily feel bad, miserable or guilty about something never made the situation better,” says Reiss. “Most events can be viewed from different perspectives and that’s when it’s important to ‘make the best of it’ and ‘see the glass as half-full.’”
Spend a day telling yourself that you’re in a good mood - and smile more. Fake it til you make it!
Have a Can-Do Attitude
Happy women are doers, not complainers. Instead of talking a situation to death (I really should lose weight) they go at it gung-ho!
“Remember, thinking is not doing,” says Reiss. “When was the last time your landlord was satisfied that you thought about paying rent or your boss was satisfied about you thinking about doing your job?”
If there’s a problem or situation you’ve been talking about for months take a concrete step toward tackling it.
Let “Just Okay” be Just Perfect
Although they may seem “perfect” annoyingly happy women aren’t perfectionists. They know that it’s better to look okay and go out than stay home because they don’t look flawless. They are okay with not being at the “it” party every night.
“Until there are 40 hours in the day, 10 days in the week and the ability to be in two or more places at the same time there will always be good things that must be passed on, and things that can be accomplished, but not perfectly,” says Reiss.
Be kind to yourself and remember that your idea of so-so is probably someone else’s idea of excellent!
Know that People are Flawed
Happy people know to lower their expectations of others. When you don’t rely on other people’s actions and reactions for your own happiness then the ball is truly in your own court.
“Even the people we are closest to will sometimes be a drag on us and let us down,” says Reiss.
The key is to appreciate people for who they are and not try to change them. When you do that you’ll understand that happiness isn’t something other people can provide you with, but that you can find within yourself.
Next Up: Reality check: Are you annoying on Facebook and Twitter?
Are you the queen of social media or mere spam in people’s feeds?
