10 key questions to ask at parents' evening

When you're likely to have just ten minutes with your child's teacher, it's important to be prepared. These ten key questions will help you to get the most out of your meeting...

By Fiona Gibson

Do you think my child is happy at school?

In today's competitive world, the emphasis is firmly upon academic achievement - yet if you child is unhappy he's less likely to learn. As he grows older, he might be less likely to share all the ups and downs of his days with you, so now's the chance to find out if he seems happy and settled in class.

Don't worry if his teacher's assessment of him seems at odds to how he is at home: it's not unusual for a talkative type to be more reserved in the classroom. However, if the teacher has noticed a marked change in your child, try to gently probe to find out what's going on.
How would you describe my child's attitude towards coursework?

Now's your chance to gain a clear picture of how your child approaches her work. Is she keen to learn, or easily distracted and a bit of a chatterbox? Is she willing to ask questions if she doesn't understand something?

If she tends not to listen, or doesn't appear to be engaged in class, the sooner you find out, the better. Then you can talk to your child and find out what the problem is - for instance, if she finds the work dull, too easy or too difficult.
Is my child working at an appropriate level for her age?

While some teachers are direct, others might be a little vague in their desire to keep the meeting positive. A direct question like this helps to clarify if your child is doing fine, or if there are areas where she needs extra support.

While it's tempting to compare notes with other mums and dads at parents' evening, don't panic if your child doesn't seem to be flying as high as someone else's son or daughter. Some parents can be terribly competitive and boastful - but all that matters is your child's performance and experience of school.
Which subjects and aspects of learning is my child good at?

Parents' evenings can be stressful and even upsetting if the meeting takes a negative turn. While it's important to focus on areas of concern, don't forget to ask about the subjects your child manages well.

'At every parents' evening the teacher always complains that Michael doesn't listen and likes to be the class clown,' laments his mother, Lorna, 40, of her 10-year-old. 'So it was lovely to hear, at the last meeting, that he's enthusiastic about project work and always makes a big effort. It helped to put the complaints and niggles in perspective.'
What does he find more challenging?

It's also important to pinpoint the aspects and subjects your child finds more challenging - even though it can be hard to hear. That way, you and the teacher can discuss ways to support and encourage him. Bear in mind, though, that teachers aren't always aware that a child is struggling.

Two-thirds of ten to 16-year-olds would rather ask friends or parents for help, rather than admitting that they don't understand something in a maths lesson, according to a study for children's newspaper First News. If you know he finds it hard to keep up, now's the time to make sure his teacher is aware of this too.
How can I support my child's learning at home?

While many parents feel ill equipped to help their teens with school work, there are lots of ways in which you can support your child.

For instance, you can discuss what's on the news, visit places relevant to his learning, or nudge him towards interactive resources such as BBC Bitesize. A recent study showed that a fifth of parents feel unable to help their teens with maths.

To brush up your skills, look our for local courses - secondary schools often run them for parents.
How well does my child make friends and interact with classmates?

Changes in your child's social group, and ability to get along with her peers, can indicate other problems - so try to find out how she interacts with others.

If your child has expressed concerns over certain classmates, or is feeling left out and isolated, now is the time to let her teacher know. Remember, though, that friendships can be incredibly fickle and fraught at this age, and that fall-outs are, unfortunately, part of school life.
How do you find her behaviour at school?

While most children have phases when they're less cooperative than usual, it's important to know if your child is being disruptive. 'I went to Lauren's first secondary school parents' evening expecting glowing reports,' says Carol, 45, of her 12-year-old, 'and was horrified when every single one of the six teachers I saw described her as very talkative and giggly in class, to the point where she distracts others.'

Although it's tempting to tell your child that the meeting was 100 per cent positive, do feed back comments and discuss how her behaviour might impact on her learning (for instance, missing key information because she's chatting so much).
How willing is he to take part in discussions and participate in class?

While two-thirds of ten year-olds are willing to put up their hands in class, only a third of 16-year-olds are happy to do so, according to the First News survey. Try to gain a picture of how much your child contributes, perhaps discussing ways in which you and his teacher can work together to increase his confidence.

Of course, being quiet doesn't mean he's not engaged with the subject. Some children are naturally more eager to participate than others, and you can only encourage your child to speak out and take part.
How long should my child be spending on homework?

'After constantly asking Phoebe if she had any homework, and being told "no", it was a relief to find out how much she really gets, and how long it should take her,' says Beverley, 46, of her 15-year-old daughter.

Do tell her teacher if homework seems especially challenging or stressful for your child, or if it's a constant battle to get her to tackle it. After all, a parents' evening meeting should be a two-way thing. While you'll be asking most of the questions, it's a vital opportunity for you to feed back to her teachers too.
Next Up: Homework: how you can get involved
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